What are the etiquette rules for a coffee date?

In this brief article, we will provide you with the answer to the question: “What are the etiquette rules for a coffee date?”. We will also share some extra tips for your coffee date.

What are the etiquette rules for a coffee date?

The main etiquette rules for a coffee date are: Select a Local Shop With Plenty of Seating; Arrive Early; Offer to Pay and Make small talk.

Here we will discuss each one of these etiquette rules

Select a Local Store With Plenty of Seating

It is usually preferable to go to a small, local coffee shop with more personality than big coffee chains.

Pick a good cafe that is normally quieter and has plenty of seats so that you can nearly always find a table. Both of these items really contribute to the atmosphere of your date.

Arrive Early

This is crucial for setting the tone. Arriving early to coffee dates is important to ensure that you will grab a table. The earlier you arrive, the better. It is uncomfortable if you do not have any place to talk after you grab your coffee.

Try to choose a table that is off to the side or against the wall so that you can easily communicate.

Offer to pay

This is an inexpensive kind of date. Offering to pay shows a sign of generosity.  Some more traditional people usually think that paying is something that guys should do. However, this differs from person to person, and you should do what seems right for you.

If you remain for more than a few hours, the other person will likely conclude that your date is going well. He/she may ask you to go somewhere else. 

If you are not enjoying it like the other person, make sure you have a plausible reason for leaving within the first hour or so.

Lying is not ideal, but making the other person feel awful is even more impolite. Having a true excuse ready ahead of time can help you avoid any embarrassing situations.

Make small talks 

As with any date, you can ask basic inquiries such as where the individual is from, his or her career, interests, siblings, and so on.

Even while asking questions and talking about yourself, try to strike a balance. This will show that you are interested in the other person’s life. 

Spending Too Much Time on Your Phone

Continuously being on your phone during a date must be the worst behavior. Generally, it is not polite to be on your phone too much at any gathering, but we tend to do it anyway.

When we are on a date, the impoliteness of excessive phone use is super magnified, since there are only two of you sitting at one table, so if you are on your phone the whole time, the other person is basically left sitting to stare at you. 

If the other person is spending a ton of time on his/her phone, after a half-hour you can definitely come up with an excuse to leave and get out of there. 

If it is something really important, you can answer one or two texts with a quick apology and explanation.

If you follow these tips below for a coffee date you probably will be very polite, but we also have some extra tips for you:

Choosing the right size of coffee

This is a crucial factor to consider not just for yourself, but also for your date. If you get a small size coffee, it will not take long to consume. If you order a big coffee, it will take much longer to drink, so you will have more time to talk. 

However, if it is your first date with the person and you are not sure whether you are really into him/her yet, you might want to get the smallest size. Consider how much time you want to spend with this individual. Then place your order. Size does matter.

Make it clear that is a date

Coffee is so informal that you can have it with anyone, whether it is family or friends. Make it more unique by choosing an expensive venue that is not a typical cafe loaded with people working on their computers.

You can ask your friends for suggestions or search for amazing coffee shops on the internet. Choosing anything out of the ordinary demonstrates that you put consideration into the date.

Make an effort to discreetly acknowledge that it is an actual date. Sometimes you get put in the friend zone by accident because you did not explicitly convey the expectations going into the date.

Make sure to bring your flirting game. This is how you can establish the mood for the entire date.


In this brief article, we will provide you with the answer to the question: “What are the etiquette rules for a coffee date?”. We will also share some extra tips for your coffee date.


Healthy Framework. “14 Must-Read Coffee Date Tips,” August 12, 2018. https://healthyframework.com/dating/advice/14-must-read-coffee-date-tips/.

“Coffee Date Etiquette | How to Behave Properly When Meeting For Coffee,” June 6, 2019. https://chasingdaisiesblog.com/coffee-date-etiquette-coffee-date-tips/.

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